Feinstein's New Bill (Hopefully)

I heard her today saying -- about the amendment prohibiting the use of federal funds for abortions -- that it's simply an effort to restrict women's rights.


And therefore, I propose that she immediately introduce the following Bill, for which I've only done a title and intro. I'll leave the legi-language to others (besides, I don't have time to make it 2,000 pages long):

S.__________

IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES

December 8, 2009

A Bill to require the government of the United States of America to reimburse its citizens, in whole or in part, for the exercise of any of their enumerated Constitutional Rights.

Short Title: The Government Isn't Footing The Bill Suitably Act

Of course, we'd call it The GIFT B.S. Act.

But I can't wait for the government to pay everyone's intertubes bill (or at least part of it) so they're no longer restricting our freedom of speech. I also drive about 16 miles to Church on Sundays, so the government should pay me a bit of gas money for that. Oh, and don't forget the guns. They can get me a couple at a reduced rate, otherwise they're simply attempting to restrict my right to keep and bear arms.

I like it.

C'mon, Senator. Put our money where your mouth is. It's never bothered you before.

Obama Bow-Fest, 2009

I wonder if he'd bow to me?


For heaven's sake, dude. Nobody would have you act high-and-mighty as President of the United States.

But how about you try to show some respect for your own office?!

By The People

I was thinking about watching the Obama campaign documentary on TV tonight.

I got a little confused about the time and channel it was supposed to be on...


I ended up watching "V," and I couldn't help but think how they amount to the same thing.


;-)

Seriously. It was a great show that I remembered from my childhood.

Now, though, I'm thinking maybe my prior post wasn't too far off the mark.

Nooooooooooo! Verizon! Don't do this to me!

I just read a Futurelawyer post that's like a dagger right into my heart.

The buzz is that Verizon may not offer the Palm Pre in January.

Please, Lowell McAdam. You've got the absolute best wireless company in the country. Don't hamstring your loyal customers by refusing to offer the best smartphones.


Oh, and Palm? Wanna grease the wheels? Stick an expansion card slot in that bad boy.

FutureLawyer on Pixi

I (kind of) agree with the FutureLawyer on the Palm Pixi.

Great phone, great features. Crazy desirable, no matter what they call it.


Still, I'm troubled by Palm's apparently newfound inability to include an expansion slot. Everyone has expansion slots in their phones now, and I credit Palm primarily for forcing that change.

So why abandon it when card slots are getting smaller and cheaper all the time?

It just doesn't make sense.

Mac vs. PC -- Am I a Fluke?

I'll start by saying I've never owned a Mac. I've played around a bit with friends' Macs, and it seems like they do pretty much the same stuff as my PCs.

I've owned a grand total of 3 PCs over the past 12 years. The first was a pieces-parts comp-in-a-box that I got for a whopping $300; the second, an Emachines that I bought shortly before law school (again, about $300); and the third, a loaded Dell desktop that I bought for $450 off of Dell's outlet website (this one I still have).

And I've never had a serious problem with any of them. Free firewalls and free anti-virus/anti-spyware programs are wonderful things, I guess, because I've never experienced an attack on my computer. Not one of those computers was replaced because of crashes, viruses, or "headaches." Simple obsolescence did the trick.

Also, an occasional warning or error message when I install a new peripheral or piece of software hardly (to my mind, at least) doesn't rise to the level of the "thousands of viruses and tons of headaches" that the Mac people keep telling me about.

So my question(s): Am I a fluke? Should I be scared of continuing on my PC-paved road to oblivion? Should I take out a second mortgage on my house and buy a Mac?

Please let me know.

Cash for Clunkers

I just found out I can trade in a 1993 Toyota Camry, and the government will give me $4,500 towards the purchase of a fuel-efficient vehicle, like a...

2009 Ford F-250 Super Duty with a 5.4 liter V8 engine.



No, really.

Trans Texas Corridor

It ain't dead, folks!

Call your State Legislators today and tell them we're not interested in taking private land and handing it over to foreign corporations so they can charge us to drive on our own Texas roads!

House
Senate


Urgent action is needed! No CDAs!

Palm Pre

I'm a gadget lover, as well as an irrational hater of all things Apple. When the iPhone came out, and folks were trampling each other to get one, I wasn't impressed. I've seen and played around with the iPhone in its various incarnations since it was born, and I'm still not impressed.

I've been a loyal user of Palm products since I started law school, and have owned several different Palm devices. It's why I've been so excited for the new Pre to be released.

Well, it's out now, and let me say first that I agree wholeheartedly with Futurelawyer when he says (to paraphrase) that it'll be a cold day in Hell before I switch to Sprint, even if the phone will do my laundry and go to the fridge to get me a Dr. Pepper. I'll wait for the Pre to be offered by the soon-to-be-fully-integrated Verizon/Alltel.

I just checked out the CNET review of the Pre, and I like what I see. I don't have a problem with the keyboard (I've been using a Treo 650 for about 1.5 years now), but I do wonder why there's no expansion slot.

For years, Palm's phones and other devices have been built with a memory card slot. I didn't realize the Pre wouldn't have such a slot, and its absence makes me a little disappointed.

So, I'm addressing this post directly to the folks at Palm...

Please, do that last little thing. Go that last extra mile to make the Pre truly the best smartphone ever built. Give us our expansion card slot.

You can even wait six months to release the new expansion-ready Pre, too. Because it's unlikely that anyone who'd keep their cell service with Sprint would be able to figure out what it was for anyway.

Congratulations, Kris

Didn't watch the American Idol finale, but I'm glad the better voice won.

I kinda feel bad talking trash about Guyliner, and since I heard Adam Lambert Googles his own name and reads everything, let me say that I also wish him the best. He'll obviously be a success as a performer.

Aggle for Supreme Court #3

You know, I'm a bit surprised that my name isn't on the short list.

I have "the heart, the empathy, to recognize what it's like to be a young teenage mom." I also happen to have "the empathy to understand what it's like to be poor, or African-American, or gay, or disabled, or old." (link)

What's even better is that I'm not an ivory tower type who only pretends to have those qualities.

I hope I get a call from the White House soon, because the only other job I can think of that emphasizes those particular qualities is acting as a stand-in for Dr. Phil.

Aggle for Supreme Court #2

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look.
Some say it's just a part of it,
We've got to fulfill the book.

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs,
Redemption songs,

Redemption songs.



For obvious reasons, I rejected "I'm too sexy."

Aggle for Supreme Court

In my new series of musical promotions of my candidacy for the Supreme Court to replace Justice Souter, I will expand on my musical bio begun in the last such post.


The place where I come from is a small town
They think so small, they use small words
But not me
I'm smarter than that, I've worked it out
I'll be stretching my mouth
To let those big words come right out

...

My parties have all the big names
And I greet them with the widest smile
Tell them how my life is one big adventure
And always they're amazed
When I show them round my house to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
With a snow-white pillow for my big fat head
And my Heaven will be a big Heaven
And I will walk through the front door.

Big time
I'm on my way, I'm making it
Big time
I've got to make it show, yeah
Big time
So much larger than life
Big time
I'm going to watch it growing

Big time.






Indeed. I'm a much neater person than I originally thought.

Throwing My Hat In

So Justice Souter is going to retire from the Supreme Court. (WaPo)


I, Aggle, hereby submit my name for consideration as a replacement for the distinguished Justice.

A bit of background:

I'm an attorney who knows the law, and actually cares about it.

I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Probably die in a small town
Oh, those small communities

All my friends are so small town
My parents live in the same small town
My job is so small town
Provides little opportunity

Educated in a small town
Taught the fear of Jesus in a small town
Used to daydream in that small town
Another boring romantic, that's me

No, I cannot forget where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be

Got nothing against a big town
Still hayseed enough to say
Look who's in the big town
But my bed is in a small town.


Gee, I hope Obama likes Mellencamp. I'm not behind on my taxes, but I could try doing something to trigger a federal investigation before my nomination hearings.

Guyliner Update 4-21-09

Ummmm, nope. Adam Lambert still sucks. AI judges (and AI voters, presumably) still smoking crack.

1. Y'know, Simon used to have a problem with people screaming songs. What happened with that?

2. Randy used to have a problem with people who were "pitchy." Where'd the ability to hear pitchy-ness go, Dog?

3. Paula... well, someone needs to tell Paula that Guyliner's not likely to sleep with her anytime soon.

4. New judge whose name I can never remember? I don't remember what you said about Guyliner, either; so if it was good, you're an idiot. If it was bad, bravo for being the only judge with sense.



Please, people, prove to the world that America can vote for someone who can really sing (Alison, Danny, Kris) over someone who's only "pretty."




Please.

Stockholder Aggle?

I was listening to a news report on the radio yesterday, and I heard something interesting.

The Wall Street Journal reports that the Obama Administration is considering converting its preferred interest in the bailed-out banks into common stock.

Considering I know next to nothing about stock ownership, I have a question...


Would that make me a stockholder?

If so, can I vote my 1/300,000,000th of the U.S.' interest in those banks at stockholder meetings, or would I have to go along with whatever the Obama Administration wants?

Does my "ownership" interest in these banks qualify under the corporate bylaws so as to grant me the right to inspect their books & records?


Hopefully, one of my three or four readers can answer those questions for me.

A Movie Experiment

Hey everybody!

I recently heard that Utah has been testing out the 4-day workweek for almost a year now.

That's not what this post is about, but it got me thinking about "small" experiments in the way government works. I started to wonder what other experiments we as Americans could do, to test out some of our political beliefs.

And then I had a brainstorm. I'll call it "Aggle's Movie Experiment." This is not to be confused with "Aggle's Economic Stimulus Proposal." That particular plan would have worked, but all I could get the government to give me was a lousy 8 bucks a week.

Okay, here we go.

AGGLE'S MOVIE EXPERIMENT

This is an experiment in socialism. First, we find a movie franchise. For the purposes of this discussion, we'll use the "Ocean's" movies, since they're heavy with big-name actors and incredibly light on story.

Call up Clooney, Pitt, Roberts, Cheadle & Co., and pitch them this idea. Since the U.S. unfairly allows rich people to keep a bunch of their money, we need to make another "Ocean's" movie. The storyline could be anything, but I'm suggesting Danny and his super-cool pals embark on a quest to pull a heist on the International Space Station. That way, the special effects will be enormous!

With those folks involved, the movie's virtually guaranteed to bring in oh, say about a billion dollars.

But all the current contracts are out the window.

See, each person working on the movie must sign a contract that they'll take an equal share of the profits.

Yeah, you heard me right.

If there's 1,000 people working on the movie (producers, actors, directors, lighting, sets, wardrobe, caterers, grips, gaffers, effects, personal assistants, everybody), then they each get one-tenth of one percent of the profits.

And they don't get paid before the movie goes to the theaters.

That means the guy who fans out the "Save Darfur" brochures in Clooney's trailer gets paid exactly the same as Clooney himself. The gal who brings Julia Roberts her chai latte gets as much as Roberts. Everybody's got to bring their A-game, because their compensation will directly depend on everybody else equally. Right?

Brilliant!

Let's give it a go.

I Just Saw Something Really Disturbing

Seriously, people.

Paula, Simon, and everybody who's ever voted for Adam Lambert must be smoking some really bad crack. That rendition of "Born to be Wild" was the biggest train-wreck since William Hung.

Somehow I've been sucked in to watching most of this season of American Idol, and that guy is consistently horrible. And that's only because I can't think of a word worse than "horrible."


For real. Stop voting for guyliner, please. Okay, so you'll have to stop voting for him twice in a row, because the smooth-brained judges are salivating to use their "save" on this entertaining butcher, but still.

He's horrible.

Mexico Doesn't Like Short Wrestlers

Mexico's Ambassador to Spain has sent a letter to Burger King complaining about the following ad:



He says it's because of the "stereotype" of Mexicans. I'm wondering if Burger King is really stereotyping Mexicans as short wrestlers. Does Burger King's racism have any boundaries?


I've decided to be offended by their characterization of Texans as lanky cowboy-types who don't have the strength to open a pickle jar (or maybe that's a job Americans won't do). I hereby demand that Burger King immediately remove the ad and replace the Cowboy with a 6-foot tall, medium-build, balding lawyer like yours truly.


But leave the wrestler in. That's funny stuff.

Texas Transportation Commissioner Ted Houghton Plays the Race Card?

What the?



In the video, Ted Houghton of the Texas Transportation Commission is sparring with Hank Gilbert. Gilbert is at the meeting to ask the Commission why it plans to use stimulus money to build toll roads for the benefit of foreign companies. Houghton dribbles something about how "foreigners" will own the debt either way. I'll address that remark first:

Commissioner Houghton, even if foreign countries, or companies, buy up stimulus debt by the truckload, Texans would still own their own roads.

There, now that that's over with, we can proceed to the meeting's most glaring injustice. At about the 7:10 mark in the video, Houghton says,...

"Your group are a bunch of bigots, is what you are."

Seriously?!

I'm trying to wrap my mind around how a person who wants to keep Texas roads free is a bigot. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it. It's impossible.

Mr. Houghton, you are supposed to be serving the people of Texas, not serving on a de facto foreign corporate board. We don't want our roads taken away from us and given to any corporation, least of all a foreign one. It has nothing to do with race, and everything to do with citizens wanting to keep their roads.

You should be ashamed of yourself. I sincerely hope that you are.



Ted Houghton should resign immediately. He's shown quite clearly he doesn't know who his bosses are.

Shepard Fairey -- More to the Story

This post is not about the Obama "Hope" poster. Well, not totally, anyway. I heard about Fairey's initial run-in with the AP over the use of the work they may not even own ("Mr. Garcia contends that he, not The Associated Press, owns the copyright for the photo, according to his contract with the The A.P. at the time").

My initial thought when I found out that the Fair Use Project had filed a Declaratory Judgment action against the AP was,"Go get 'em, tigers!" I generally agree with the stuff the Fair Use Project does. The Obama "Hope" poster is, in my opinion, a pretty cool interpretation of Garcia's photo, and as far as I was aware, Fairey wasn't using it for anything other than campaigning. That may or may not be true (The FUP's complaint says Fairey rolled over all the money he made into printing posters to be distributed for free).

And then I read something that made me look a little closer. It's a pretty eye-opening article discussing Fairey's unattributed use of the works of many artists (see also). A little further digging turned up a definitely-not-good-for-the-gander article. That's right, Fairey sent a c&d letter to an artist who created a parody of one of his works.

The most interesting point to be made, though, is not the double-standard. It's the fact that Fairey has built his anti-corporate, anti-establishment reputation on the backs of his predecessors, and has parlayed that reputation into a highly polished, very corporate entity.



Now, ordinarily, I wouldn't give much thought to a story like this other than my initial reaction I noted above. I'd follow it, and I'd generally pull for Fairey as "the little guy." For the record, I do think his case against the AP could easily be decided in his favor. I don't, however, like having the wool pulled over my eyes; and being fed a line of garbage about how avant-garde someone is, only to find out they're really nothing more than a semi-talented, hypocritical thief.

My New Economic Stimulus Proposal

Democrats want "family planning" money...
Republicans want tax cuts...

Some folks want roads...
Some folks want schools...


I'll tell you what'll fix the economy. Aggle's Economic Stimulus Proposal is as follows:


Give me $800 billion dollars, and turn me loose. The catch is, every dime must be spent by the end of the year, without anything to show for it on January 1, 2010.




That's what they're going to do, so why shouldn't I get to have some fun?


I'm telling you right now. I'll Johnny-Appleseed my way all across the country in a tricked-out conversion van rigged up with a snow-blower specifically designed to spread C-notes in a 100-yard radius. I'll start a website taking suggestions for what to do with the money, and no suggestion will be too over-the-top (except for bridges that don't actually go anywhere, or teapot museums). Okay, so I won't take suggestions from Congresspersons or their staff... Or Joe the Plumber.




If I succeed, I get to not pay taxes for the rest of my life. If I don't succeed? Then we've wasted $800 billion...


But Congress is going to do that anyway, so where's the problem?

Treasury Secretary-Designate Geithner

Wow! Two posts in one day? I don't know if I'll recover from this.


Politico is reporting that a "full-court press" by Obama could keep Geithner from being dropped/blocked as his Treasury Secretary appointee.

One question: For the reals?

I'm sorry, but I just don't believe it. Aside from the now undisputable fact that Geithner is unamerican (at least according to Joe Biden's "patriotic duty" statements), can we really afford to put a man in charge of the nation's finances who couldn't be bothered to stay up-to-date on his own tax situation?


Insane.

Trans Texas Corridor Is Not Dead

I received this update early this morning from Texans Uniting for Reform and Freedom (TURF):

No laws have been changed, no Minute Orders rescinded, contracts revoked, nor environmental documents re-done to actually KILL the TTC once and for all. What we got instead was effectively a hail Mary pass from a TxDOT Executive Director, Amadeo Saenz, whose job is about to get axed if the Sunset Commission's recommendations to cut his position are adopted. Too little, too late, Mr. Saenz. The people of Texas want to clean house and start over with new leadership the public can trust, not more of the same corrupt and illegal dealings from a belligerent and unresponsive state agency about to tax its citizens off their own public roadways!

Saenz even stated in his speech that they're simply renaming the TTC and chopping it up into smaller projects under different names. This famous bait and switch act by government gone awry amounts to a sneaky attempt at duping concerned citizens into thinking the battle is won only to rear its ugly head later. They're putting lipstick on their pig, but it's still a pig!

Read the press statement here.

Yearly Awards Shows Rant

Hello all!

I just realized I've almost let the award show season pass me by without weighing in on the winners (and losers) of our glitzy Hollywood annual back-slap fests:


The winners: who cares?

The losers: Anybody who was looking forward to watching an actual television show.



Seriously? The People's Choice Awards on CBS Wednesday at 8? Don't they realize that if the People had a Choice, the People would very likely Choose to watch the People's Choice of actual television on Wednesday night (in my case, that would have been "Criminal Minds")?


Okay, so that's not actually a substantive argument. It's more my personal gripe. I'd rather see an "un-sub" brought to justice by the BAU in a gripping tele-drama than watch a small statue be delivered to Hugh Laurie (Did Hugh Laurie win? I'd simply die if he didn't!) so he can prattle on for a bit until the music starts.



Now for the substance. Yes, really.

The economy is in the tank. It's not getting any better. Our Congress mercilessly grilled the Big 3 CEOs about their private jet use (rightfully), and the left screamed kudos to them from the rooftops.

And now, once again this year, we're inundated with the Hollywood left-pets parading up and down the red carpet (Is it still red? I'd simply die if it wasn't) in suits and gowns and jewelry that cost more than the Gross National Product of Taiwan.

I swear, one of these years they're going to wise up and just release a list of all the winners. That way, I can watch Criminal Minds (If it's still on. I'll simply die if it isn't.), and those who care can look up the list and wonder why Hope and Faith didn't win best comedy.

What? That show got cancelled? I'm simply gonna... nevermind.