Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Will Video Games Ever Be The Same??!!!?? The Horror!

I'm not much of a gamer. I haven't bought a new video game since I spent $20 on a used copy of Silent Hill for the original PlayStation. I haven't played any of those games in 3 years. So, I may not be much of an authority on the subject,... but that's never stopped me before.

There's a new furor from, you guessed it, the actors' unions. This time it's about whether or not "voice actors" should get a percentage of profits from video game sales.

Well, anyone can see that they absolutely, without a doubt, should be paid in line with their abilities. I mean, c'mon, it's hard, grueling work to sit in front of a microphone for literally minutes a day, repeating lines like "Die, Alien scum," or "We've tracked the evil villain Prozac to the planet Ambien. Go get 'em, tiger." Sometimes they even run out of throat-soothing water, and must wait, actually wait, for some pimply-faced intern to bring them a re-fill.

Oh, the humanity!

I really like the quote in the article from the rep for the gaming industry:

"The union's demand for an equity stake, or residual structure, is unreasonable and not fair to the hundreds of people who often spend years developing a game," Howard Fabrick, an attorney representing publishers in the talks, said in a statement. "Voiceover work represents a small fraction of a video game's development and consumer enjoyment."

Kinda says it all, doesn't it?

Well, certainly not for the actors. They're already not satisfied with making only infinitely more money than the "hundreds of people" who develop movies or television shows; so why in heaven's name should we expect them to demand any less for their minimal efforts in the gaming world?

Why do we even put up with such garbage?

I know. Let's socialize the entertainment industry. How does the following sound?

From each according to his overly-inflated sense of ability; to each according to his actual, not imagined, need.

Sounds great, huh? We'll do an experiment in the entertainment industry, and see if the results can be translated throughout humanity. We take all of the gross earnings from every entertainment venture, and divide them equally among the people involved in the entertainment industry. That'd be fair, right?

I certainly think so.

See you all later. I'm going to go dust off my PlayStation so I can see if it's worth writing to the game's makers to demand that they give more money to the label-printer-guy.

Open Letter to Motley Crue

Dear Motley Crue,

I recently read of the detestable behavior exhibited by NBC regarding the utterance of an expletive by your front-man Vince Neil.

I must say that I am appalled.

OK, well, not really.

I've got some questions for you, though.

1. How do you expect the sales of your new (and undoubtedly mediocre) album to go now?
2. How did you expect the sales to go before you pulled off this unbelievably juvenile publicity stunt?
3. Don't you think another Tommy Lee "video" would have been a more profitable way to go?
4. Where did you find your lawyer?
5. Seriously, he came to you, right?
6. No, really, he is a lawyer, isn't he?
7. I'm sorry. Back to the topic. Any other lawsuits in mind? I mean, you've been grievously wronged before, right? Like by whomever's been doing your hair?
8. Or by your tailors?
9. Your schoolteachers?
10. Your parents? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins?

To Mr. Sixx (I feel silly even typing that), I would direct a specific question. When you said you were being "discriminated" against, did you mean because you are a washed-up 80's-era scream-band, and the networks don't have any respect for you anymore? Or are you a member of some other minority group of which we're not aware?

Did you ever stop and think that maybe it's because NBC believes that Mr. Neil (giggle) simply can't keep it clean?

How about this. Why don't you own up to your actions, and take the consequences? That'd be a wonderful idea, wouldn't it? Seriously, I wouldn't suggest that such an illustrious hairband as yourselves has any dignity left to salvage, but c'mon, guys, take one for the team.

Or don't. I don't really care, I just wanted to rant.

In closing, I'll say this. Vince, good luck with the wine. Not so much with the whine.