Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Doctrine Is Born

I have a new policy in my home. See, I have developed a "uniform rule of feeding my kids," you know, according to the Constitution of Aggle's House? Under that "uniform rule," my wife and I have "completely occupied the field" of feeding our children. Under that rule, we have agreed to provide them with 3 squares a day, plus the occasional snacks. Nobody else can make a law that provides for the feeding of my kids, not even other occupants of my house. My kids have no say in the matter.

This sucks for them, because if we decide not to feed them at all, they are officially preempted from feeding themselves. I and my wife are the only ones who can do it.

If they decide to try and feed themselves, I'll go to the Aggle's House District Court Judge for the Kitchen District, and have him (me)* issue an injunction forcing them to not feed themselves.

What are they gonna do, argue that the Constitution's unconstitutional?


I call it the "I'm gonna take my toys and go home, so no one can play with them" Doctrine.

*My wife couldn't be the District Court Judge, because the Supreme Court (also me) ruled officially that she didn't have a bar card and is thus precluded from serving in any judicial capacity.