Friday, November 30, 2007


That's what it's all about, folks. Solidarity.

Stand firm and unite against the oppressive regimes who won't give us our well-deserved slice of the pie.

It doesn't matter if we don't really know what the pie is worth.

It also doesn't matter if, in the course of our protests, nobody else in the industry gets to work, either. And that includes folks who work on TV programs who are a lot less well-paid than the writers are, doesn't it?

How long are the janitors, assistants, latte-gofers, cameramen, set-builders, grips and gaffers (I must admit I don't even know what the last two do) going to have to remain out-of-work so that the WGA can secure an extra 10% or so in compensation?

It makes you wonder: How many people standing there on the picket lines are actually in support of the writers? If I'm a cameraman, for example -- whose work apparently would not entitle me to compensation in perpetuity -- and the writers go on strike, I can exert no force to resume my job except by standing next to the writers, right? Oh, sure, me and my camera-colleagues could protest the work stoppage, effectively starting a three-way strike; but what good would that really do?

Let's look one step further. Say I'm a writer, and I've got 6 or 7 mouths to feed. I need my job. Sure, I'd like to get paid for internet broadcasts too; but it pales in comparison to the importance of feeding the starving chicks back at the nest. As it is now, I can't cross the picket lines to write decidedly un-funny jokes for Jay Leno; because if I do, I'll be ostracized completely. So therefore, even though the money from internet broadcasts isn't all that important to me, I'm forced to join the lines instead of what's really important to me (i.e., survival).

I know. The studios are greedy. Much more greedy than the writers. I get it. We all do. It's impossible to argue otherwise.

But it seems to me that it'd be easier to negotiate from a position of power if the WGA simply said, "Give us the extra money or we'll go back to turning out stuff like Hope and Faith."



I am a prophet.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Writers' Strike May Go Too Far -- Say It Ain't So!

I've just learned something that has shaken me to my very core. This type of world-shattering news comes along only once in a lifetime, and I now believe I will never be the same again.

The writers' strike may have an adverse effect on...

Wait for it...

Awards shows? GASP!

I've started wearing a black armband now, just in case this actually happens. I'm trying to find a suitable-colored lapel ribbon, but all the good ones are already taken. Maybe I'll just use white, and have somebody print the Bic logo on it for me.

To think that, this year, I may have to go without surfing past Hollywood's annual parades of nobody-really-cares! It's horrible. I haven't eaten in over 12 hours. Wait... I had a peppermint candy a couple of minutes ago, but it's only 11:00a.m. and I don't eat breakfast. But I promise, right here and now, that I absolutely refuse to have an extra taco with my lunch. Solidarity is important to me, you know.

If there's no awards shows this year, how will we regular people ever find out about the goodie bags? Or who's drunk on stage? Or which rushed-to-production anti-Iraq-war movie is going to get the thumbs-up from the Hollywood paragons of hypocritic virtue? Oh the humanity!

On a related note, we here at CreTIN are working furiously (by which I mean doing virtually nothing) to see that this strike ends quickly. To show support for our fellow Knights-of-the-Word-Processor, we have been refusing to write anything. Anything at all.

As a matter of fact, I didn't even write this post.

I ain't no scab.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Pencil-Pushers, Unite!

I'd like to say a little something about the current television & film writers' strike.

Upon hearing the writers would be striking to protest their lack-of-compensation for shows offered on the internet, my initial reaction was, "Of course they should be paid for that. They did the work, they should be fairly compensated."

I was going to leave it at that. Really. I promise...

But the media wouldn't leave it alone, so I actually thought about it some more.

And I started to switch sides a bit. Now, it's no secret that I'm generally anti-union. I get a little hot-under-the-collar every time I pay $500 for an airplane ticket, knowing that I'd be paying markedly less if the airline didn't have to pay a bunch of guys $25/hour to lose my bags.

Even so, I have family who are in the entertainment industry, and they've done film and television work before. They are intensely pro-union (especially, of course, SAG & WGA). I look at the time and effort they put into their jobs, and I'm astounded that someone could so devote themselves to a craft that, Cruise/Hanks etc. aside, is not terribly well-paid. And that's just the actors. So, when it comes to a situation like this, I firmly stamp down on my anti-union bent, and try to look at it in an unbiased manner.

And where my head keeps meeting the wall is: These folks are creating a product. Sure, it's not really tangible, and it's pretty much nothing until someone else runs with it, but it is a product. Scripts can be bought and sold just as any other tangible thing.

So should, for example, manufacturers of movie seats get a portion of ticket sales? They spent their time, effort, and money creating those foldy beauties, so that we might enjoy a movie now and again, right? Those movie seats are arguably as integral to the movie business as the movies themselves, right? I mean, c'mon, nobody's going to pay box-office price if they've got to stand up while they watch Brokeback Mountain, are they?

Of course they wouldn't. But why should we scoff at a movie-seat-manufacturers-union? This argument is about the right to do work, and keep getting paid for it loooooooong after that work is done.

Nobody else gets to do that. If I set up a corporation for someone -- drafting articles, bylaws, and all the other documents as well as providing education to the person in control -- should I get to demand a portion of all proceeds from that corporation, in perpetuity?...


On third thought, I've re-switched sides. I'm all for the writers again. I'm going to form a Creative Thought Incorporation Network (CreTIN, for short), to unite all attorneys who set up businesses so that we may stand in solidarity with our ink-stained brothers and sisters. We'll demand equal rights for all keyboard-jockeys, no matter where they roam!

Pencil-Pushers, Unite!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

NY Set to Ban Nooses

I thought they already did that?

Oohhhhh, I get it. They're going to pass legislation to treat nooses as a hate crime. And drawings of nooses. And paintings of nooses. Presumably, they're going to ban any noose in any form.

No noose is good noose?

I know, that was stupid, but not as stupid as the New York legislature, apparently. Once again, a lawmaking body has tasked itself with whittling away at our Constitutional right to freedom of expression.

Just remember:

First they came for the nooses, and I said nothing, because I'm not a KKK moron.

Next, they came for the swastikas, and I said nothing, because I'm not, well, a KKK moron.

Next, they came for other things someone might find offensive, so Dancing With the Stars was removed from the air, and I said nothing, for I am not a brainless twit.

Finally, they came for bloggers...

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Supreme Court Will Hear Medellin Case

I'm not talking about the notorious Medellin drug cartel. I'm talking about Jose Medellin, the gang member sentenced to death for his confessed role in the gang-rape and murder of two Houston teenage girls in 1993.

I'm in the middle of reading Medellin's brief to the Supreme Court right now, and I just wanted to throw out something that may very well be answered later:

Medellin's brief is discussing, at length, the "International Court of Justice," and its ruling which supposedly mandates American courts' review of the trials and sentences of 51 Mexican nationals. The brief seems to state that, because it was started by treaty, it is entitled to "supreme law of the land" status.

Fine. Okay.

But it can't supercede the Constitution. Because treaties are on a par with "acts of Congress," that means they are subject to the same standard of judicial review as those acts.

Which brings me to my point:

Isn't the ICJ, as it applies to the American court system, completely and utterly void based upon the fact that it seeks to set up a court which is higher in stature than (and thus able to review the decisions of) our own Supreme Court?

Something to think about.


I address the following to our Supreme Court:

Regarding the argument that the President's Directive was merely an attempt to "faithfully execute the laws," I would remind you that a President's Directive that any member of the Judicial Branch do anything, without following proper channels, is a blatant and terrible violation of our Constitution's separation of powers.


From the Respondent's (Texas) Brief:

"...the Presidential Memorandum surely reflects the President’s genuine desire to "reaffirm[ ] the United States commitment to the international rule of law.” U.S. Br., at 4. However, a laudable goal does not give the President unlimited power to act beyond his constitutional authority. As the Court has recognized, “the Constitution protects us from our own best intentions: It divides power among sovereigns and among branches of government precisely so that we may resist the temptation to concentrate power in one location as an expedient solution to the crisis of the day.” New York v. United States, 505 U.S. 144, 187 (1992)."

Good stuff.

Friday, October 05, 2007

RIAA Wins Lawsuit in Minnesota


A jury awarded $222,000.00 to the RIAA from a woman who allegedly shared music online.

You know, I can't begin to express how unfair I believe this is. First of all, I'd really like to see a transcript of the trial, to see how the RIAA proved this woman was really doing the infringement claimed. The article says they got some folks from the woman's ISP to testify that the address belonged to her. I guess that's it, then. Throw the book at this lowlife scum. Put her in the poorhouse for the rest of her life over a grand total of roughly $1,200 in lost revenue. Great idea. And while we're at it, let's hop on down to the schoolyard and pop those kids who are sharing a pair of earbuds from an iPod.

The recording industry is waaayy behind the curve on this one. Their idea of "damage control," instead of embracing new technologies, is to make the "little guy" lick your boots. They're producing cookie-cutter music at increasingly low overhead, and yet prices are still going up.

I'm not saying people should be allowed to indiscriminately share copyrighted material. I mean, the mixed-tapes I made in the 80's without a doubt cost the recording industry all of twenty or thirty bucks, and I feel bad about that. I really do. And I fully admit that I dubbed songs off the radio as late as 1987. I cry myself to sleep on a regular basis that, because of my actions, some recording industry executive couldn't afford one ten-trillionth of his mortgage payment. Just imagining the poor fella, sobbing in his Bentley, wondering how he'll make it to his next paycheck...

Sorry. I got choked up for a minute there.

Piracy is wrong. It always has been. But it's not a case of raving marauders attacking, pillaging and plundering the high seas, killing all in their quest for gold.

It is, overwhelmingly, a case of people who love music, and are tired of the recording industry being able to dictate the entirety of the marketplace's terms.

I suppose it's clear I'm conflicted on the issue. I haven't downloaded anything illegally, although I know folks who have. I don't associate with them anymore, because I don't want that oily taint to rub off on me. I have better things to do with my life than register on bittorrent sites like The Pirate Bay and search and download torrents of hundreds of songs (or even one, for that matter). It doesn't mean that I want those who do so to be treated as if they've caused hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages to the RIAA. They haven't.

Hey RIAA! Let's stop treating these folks like criminals and find a happy medium, shall we? I know, it sounds like extortion, but until your heavy-handed tactics stop, it's not going to get better for you. Remember the old saying:

"You catch more flies with honey than you do by putting them through intense trials and subjecting them to massive fines that are waaaay out of proportion to the amount of damages you have suffered."

Remember, Robin Hood was cool back in the day. But I imagine it wasn't so much that Robin Hood was cool, as it was that the Sheriff of Nottingham was a complete tyrant.

I leave you all with some serious words of advice.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Yahoo News

Mandatory health care coverage?

Hilary says, "...a mandate requiring every American to purchase health insurance was the only way to achieve universal health care..."

The article tells us,"Her health care plan would require every American to buy health insurance, offering tax credits and subsidies to help those who can't afford it."

I have a question. Who's gonna define "those who can't afford it?" I'm a practicing attorney, and right now I "can't afford it." I buy health insurance for my family anyway, simply because I don't like the odds of us continuing to live our safe, happy lives in relative health. Especially with a two year-old who still likes to eat anything she finds on the floor.

Seriously, folks, I'm really not a cynic. But I can't help worrying about how Hilary-Care will drive prices even higher for those of us the government believes are able to afford it.

Understandably, no one's worried about the rich. They can afford to buy health insurance no matter what. Heck, some of 'em could probably buy an insurance company, if they wanted to. By contrast, everybody's worried about the poor. I don't guess I can argue with that, but wouldn't some serious Medicare reform help bring costs down, without hiking prices for the middle class?

We're being set up. When we're subsidizing private insurance for poor people instead of (or probably in addition to) Medicare, and driving the price of insurance sky-high, is anybody gonna cry for my kids?

Probably nobody but me.


She stole it? John Edwards' wife is yelling that Hilary's plan is a carbon-copy of her hubby's.

For shame, Hilary. For shame.

"Don't Taze Me, Bro."


All over the internet now, there's a buzz about this fella, Andrew Meyer, who got tazed at a Q&A session with John Kerry at the University of Florida. (link: WaPo)

I know this'll be used against Kerry. Heck, it's already being used against him. Fact is, though, he acknowledged the "importance" of Meyer's question regarding the 2004 election. My question is: Could he have done something to call off the dogs?

Well, the answer to that is obviously, "Yes." Do I fault him for not doing anything? Not really.

I come down squarely in the middle of the road in this situation. Let's look at both sides.

1.) Here you've got a fella who starts out with a somewhat legitimate question about the 2004 election. This dude proceeds then into a rant about impeachment-as-preemptive-strike, and then waltzes into a shrill question about secret societies at Yale. Those cops have got to be thinking, "Nut job! Nut job! The last thing we need is for John Freakin' Kerry to get attacked on our fair campus." Can you really fault them for that?

2.) Here you've got a fella who takes time out of his schedule to come down to a forum. He asks his question(s) into the mic. Sure, he gets a little wild-eyed about them, but hey, it's politics. I've seen folks get rabid about city ordinances. I'm not going to fault a guy for getting a little upset over "stolen elections," or Iran. And that's not even mentioning Yale's secret societies <> ;-)

My simple point is that he quite obviously didn't need to be tazered. Folks are yammering about how he threw a temper tantrum, and that's fine, but there were certainly better ways of defusing any danger to the audience or their illustrious guest than wrestling Mr. Meyer to the ground and frying his circuits even more.

I guess the lesson we should all learn from this is:

Florida's messed up.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Friends of Fred

I know, it's kind of cheeseball, but I've just become a "Friend of Fred."

No, he's not coming to my house for dinner or anyth... wait. I didn't read all of the stuff about what it means to be a "Friend of Fred." Maybe it does mean he's coming for dinner.

Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, ohmigosh... What am I gonna do?


Okay, before I start cleaning my house up in anticipation of a possible distinguished visitor who might or might not want me to be his Attorney General, let me say this:

I do not donate money to political campaigns. I will put a bumper sticker on my car, but only if I don't have to pay for it.*

No, my efforts for Fred's campaign will lean more towards calmly engaging people in conversation about the state of our nation, and asking them to check out Fred's website. And by "calmly," I most certainly do not mean "in a drunken rage." Similarly, by "asking," I do not mean "browbeating."

Now, in all seriousness (I actually like "seriousity" better, but I'm told it's not an actual word), I write the following personal note to Fred (everybody else, please turn away now):


Thank you for FINALLY joining the race, I look forward to your official nomination as the Republican candidate for President of the United States. Congratulations, by the way, on your current poll honeymoon, and here's to a continued widening of the gap between you and Giiuuiuuiilliiiani (or "Pollyanni," as I like to call him). I would also like to express my sincere hope that you haven't taken offense to any of my attempts at humor. I find it very hard to take much of politics too seriously, but you'll find that when I'm your Attorney General, I will be a great way to lighten the mood during long cabinet meetings. As a matter of fact, if you decide I'd be too much trouble as A.G., you could create a new post. Something like "Secretary of Humor-Land Security." I could take my oath of office on a copy of a really great book of pickle jokes I had when I was 6.

Okay everybody, you can turn back now.

Vote Fred in '08!

*and only if it doesn't say "Friend of Fred" on it. Here in the South, people are as apt to think I'm a big fan of Fred Flinstone as a supporter of Fred Thompson. Come to think of it, it can't say anything like "Thompson for President" either. I've made clear that I can't have anyone mistaking me for a Tommy Thompson supporter. What the bumper sticker should say is:

"Fred (not Tommy) Thompson (not Flintstone) for President in aught-eight."

Friday, July 27, 2007

John Edwards Won't Shut Up

"They want to shut me up!" yells John Edwards.


Are "they" the same people who want to limit some Democratic candidates' access to debates?
'Cause John, that would make "they," "you."


La Entrada & the Trans-Texas Corridor

Why must we continue to give away our land?

We've got the Trans-Texas Corridor, a giveaway to foreign corporations that Governor "Goodhair" Perry thinks will be the answer to our transportation woes. I've got a question for all of you: How many governors does it take to screw Texans?

Just one, apparently.

It's bad enough that TTC is going to take State-owned roads and gift them to a Spanish corporation to charge tolls. What makes it even worse is that our elected officials are, at the same time, attempting to turn our Greate State into a pass-through for interstate (and international) commerce. Small towns will be chewed up and spit out by this lumbering monster, and some of our Texas heritage is going to fall into obscurity.

Can we stand by and let it happen? I'm not. Go to, and do something, anything to show your displeasure with the way our Governor is giving our roads away.

In the meantime, go check out as well. It's an organization started by concerned citizens in the Big Bend region who are attempting to make their voices heard. See, La Entrada (not officially the same as TTC, but bad enough) will make the tourist destinations around Big Bend into waypoints. Nothing more than milemarkers for cut-rate Mexican truckers to judge how much farther they have to go before they get to Dallas, or Kansas City, or Chicago, or wherever their uninspected, unsafe semis happen to be taking them.

The pollution, crime, and loss of tourism dollars will literally kill these beautiful little towns. Rick Perry's not going to Alpine anytime soon. Heck, he's probably never even been there. What do the fatcats in Austin care about little ol' West Texas anyway? Not a bit.

And they're not going to, either, until those of us who do care start screaming at the top of our lungs.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Fred Thompson, Take Me to the Prom

Wow, man. I gotta tell you I'm impressed with your polling lately.

I'm seeing you pretty consistently beating Rudy "9/11" Giuiiuiliaiani. If we could just get the two of you in a cage-match, I'm pretty sure you could finish him off.

So, announce, already. I'd love to see you mopping the floor in a debate with the current cast of muppets. And by "mopping the floor," I mean winning. And by "muppets," I mean no offense to Kermit.

Seriously, how much longer are you going to wait? 'Cause the American people, collectively, are like that hot girl you're just dying to ask to the prom. If you wait too long, she's gonna end up going to the prom with somebody superficial, like the Romneybot. Or somebody who'll whisper exactly what they want to hear, like the Rudster (9/11). Or somebody older and more sophisticated, like Grandpa's favorite, McCain. It's because they're asking, already.

See, she knows you want to take her. But she's too shy to ask you, so you've got to take the first step. Here's what you do:

  1. Stop sending your friends to tell her you like her, do it yourself.
  2. Write a pretty poem or something, it'll make you seem more sensitive.
  3. Whatever you do, don't ask her if you can bring along your buddy Newt (she might go with you, and leave with him).
  4. Be nice, but not too nice.
  5. Be confident, but not too confident. And, finally...
  6. Pay for dinner.

And ask one of her friends (Me) to be your Attorney General.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Kill the Bill

I can't stand the current "immigration reform" bill that's, as of today, moving forward for amendments in the Senate. I suppose that means I'll be labeled as a racist, since everyone who's against the bill pretty much already has.

I'm just tired of the "$4 head of lettuce" arguments I'm hearing all the time. I don't care for rewarding those who break our laws, period, and that's what this bill does. It is against the law to enter this country without proper documentation. We're going to now, in the apparent interest of political expediency and corporate cronyism, tell the millions of undocumented workers that even though they have broken our law, they're going to get a free pass.

I know how hard it is to obtain legal status as an immigrant in this country. I've heard all the stories, some from the people themselves, about the procedural hurdles involved.

Those stories, about people who are doing everything they can to legally come here, are the ones we should be listening to.

As it is, those stories will be forgotten in favor of millions of law-breakers and a cheap Caesar Salad.

Contact your Senators in a hurry, please. Don't let them disregard those who have been waiting (sometimes for years) in favor of those with no respect for the law.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Letters From Aggle

Been awhile, huh?

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in here since January. It's gonna take me a while to dust off the blogging chops (if I ever really had any to begin with). To do so, I'm going to write some letters to people who will likely never read them.

Let's see, where should I start?

Politics? Sure, why not.

Fred Thompson,

Gimme somethin' big chief. I like your style, truly I do. But what's your problem? Why'd you wait so long to formally declare that you're gonna formally declare sometime in the near future? I think you've got a no-nonsense attitude that would serve the American people well after 8 years of pure and utter nonsense.

My real question is, have you hamstrung yourself by waiting? Is it really just an elaborate trial balloon for 2012? 'Cause you're not getting any younger, fella. And your star-power won't counteract the creepy soap-opera looks of the Romneybot forever, you know.

We all know that running for President is all about the money, no matter how much Senator McCain wants people to think he thinks it shouldn't be. (-- Despite the seeming unintelligibility of that last sentence, I'm quite proud of it --) Can you possibly get enough? I know it might seem like I'm making fun, but I'm not. I think you're the best choice of all the Republican candidates out there, really, unless Rudy "PollyAnny" Giuliani grows a pair and becomes an actual conservative.

No, I don't think that'll happen. Let me tell you this: I'm not willing to see you have just strong enough a showing to make a Giuliani-Thompson ticket. In my eyes, that'd be like paying for prime rib, and instead getting a plate of bologna (or Giuliogna, if you will. Man, is his name fun to make fun of!).

Since I haven't really gone anywhere with this letter, I'll go ahead and wrap it up. My last question is, if you somehow overcome the severe latecomer handicap and become the Republican nominee; and then overcome the handicap of not possessing any of the qualities that have made Barack and Hilary cause waves of ecstasy to course through the Democratic Party (and by that I obviously mean the drug, not the emotion)...

Can I be your Attorney General?

Love, your BFF,



Rudy Giuliani,

Forget what I said to Fred up there, I was just trying to make him feel better about the trampling he's gonna get under your wishy-washy pseudo-liberal-but-I-hate-liberals-even-though-I-share-most-of-their-views-on-just-about-every-issue machine, brutha!

Fight the conservative power is what I always say. I've only got three questions for you, my friend (with maybe a sub-question or two attached to each).

1. Does your bathroom mirror actually show both of your faces in the morning?
a. If so, which one do you shave?

2. Do you consider yourself a hero after 9/11?
a. If so, is it a pastrami hero, or a Giuliogna hero? (Sorry, I couldn't resist)

3. Can I be your Attorney General?
a. If not, why not?

Your friend-even-though-I'm-not-your-friend-because-I-disagree-with-you-on-just-about-every-issue,



Mitt Romneybot,

Okay, I get the whole "looking Presidential" thing, 'cause man, do you look Presidential. Truth be told, I think you ought to team up with Fred Thompson. You could be the face of the Presidency, and he could do all the actual work. That way, you'd get to develop some mad Ashlee-Simpson-style lip syncing skills, (because let's face it, Fred's got the better voice) and you wouldn't have to dirty up your soul with all the coffee and soft-drinks a President must drink each and every day to stay coherent (Bush must have sworn off caffeine when he left Austin). And Fred wouldn't scare small children during public appearances, because he'd be secure in a bunker under the White House typing his words into the Romneybot3000 Interface Control Apparatus (which I'm relatively confident is now housed somewhere in a basement on the BYU campus).

Okay, so maybe I was kinda sorta kidding about the whole Interface Control thing. Still, its existence has not been disproven, so I can't entirely rule it out.

Clank on, Romneybot!

Oh, and can I be your Attorney General? No? How about your official hair-gel valet?


John McCain,

I can't find a place in my life for a guy from Arizona. I know, you've lived everywhere and all, but Arizona is where you chose to hang your political hat. For some reason, many of the people in the party I've grown to love to hate, really love to love you. Is it because you're so gosh-darn honest? Or is it because you're not but they believe you are?

I can't figure it out. The "straight-talk Express" might get me all excited, if it said anything remotely resembling something I want to hear. You seem to be able to tell people what they want to hear on a regular basis, Johnny, so come on. Tell me I can be your Attorney General or something. I promise I won't fire anyone I'm not specifically told to fire by your political masterminds. And I won't tell anyone about it, either. I don't even own a Blackberry, and the RNC email server is waaay too uncool to host my jaws.

No, seriously, some people say they could never vote for a Mormon (although the Romneybot will find them and crush their hearts in his iron grip). I could never vote for someone who hails from a state where the official state drink is prune juice (excuse me, "dried plum juice"). You Baby Boomers have done enough damage to this country already. It's time for a younger, hipper state to put forth a candidate. Like Tennessee.

Unless it's Al Gore, or, as I like to call him, "LiberalRomneybot Prototype X1."

Your Constituents' Great-great-great Grandson,


A quick note to some other Republican hopefuls:

Tommy Thompson,

You must withdraw immediately. I can't have you accidentally siphoning votes from Fred just because you have the same last name and most Southern Republicans can't read all that well. If you choose to stay in, be careful, because if Fred and the Romneybot join forces, well, let's just say the Romneybot'll be comin' for ya.

Tom Tancredo,

Did you know, that if you hum different notes, you can make a song sometimes? Think about it.

Ron Paul,

As much as I loooooove many of your Libertarian ideals, Ronnie, you've got about as much chance of winning as Freddy Irwin "Messiah" Sitnick. I know, say it ain't so. Drop out now and beg the Fred-Romneybot camp to make you their VP. I'd love to see you causing havoc in the Senate. You could replace the gavel with a great-big pair of gold forceps.


Duncan Hunter,

Seriously, dude. Are you really a Republican? A trial lawyer? From California? It'd be kind of funny if you weren't the Co-Chair of the Congressional Task Force on Bowhunting. 'Cause really. I'm not laughing at you. Really. I hear arrows hurt.

And last, but not least,

Mildred T. "Millie" Howard,

Keep the faith, ma'am. You're nothing if not persistent.


Maybe I'll post something later about the Democrats' field. Maybe I'll wait another 6 months.


Friday, January 19, 2007

NC NAACP Now says be fair.

The North Carolina chapter of the NAACP is calling for silence. They want both sides in the Duke rape scandal to stop speaking publicly about the case while the Attorney General investigates.

'Cause they were all about fairness and letting justice silently run its course when the allegations first came out.

Despicable. Now that the evidence is pointing to the accuser lying, now they're asking for restraint.

Barack Obama

Is it just me, or did his announcement the other day sound a bit too, "Ehh, okaay. I guess I'll run already"?

I think he's passion-less. For all his talk about changing things, he just doesn't strike me as anything more than a panty-waist. I see no force in his speeches. No fire in his eyes.

Look, I'm not saying we need a fire-and-brimstone-style speaker up there, but c'mon, Barack. Make me feel like I'm watching something other than a touchy-feely don't-do-drugs PSA.

Wow! It's been a long time.

I feel bad for my readers, really. I can't believe I've let this slide since September!

I was inspired today to post again after reading about Rosie O'Donnell blasting the judges of American Idol.

I am hereby calling for Rosie's resignation from The View. My reason for this is that bush babies are adorable. I don't see why Rosie couldn't have taken Simon's comments for what they were. An honest assessment of the guy's lack of talent, but then a soft-hearted compliment in telling him he looked cute, fuzzy, and unbelievably huggable.

For shame, Rosie. For shame.

Oh, and really, what's wrong with Paula having a drink or two? I'm not saying she was, but c'mon, people. Listening to 10,000 (mostly) horrible singers in the same day would be enough to make me get my drink on before 9:00a.m. Admit it, Rosie, sometimes you need a snort or two before Joy is palatable. Or Barbara, even.

What I'm most excited about right now, though, is Donald's threat to file a slander lawsuit against Rosie. Stand with me, America! Let's have an open, Court-TV saturated courtroom full of the best reality show ever! Oh my goodness, would that be an amazing, ratings extravaganza or what?

Donald: "You're fired"
Judge: "You can't fire me, comb-over, I'm the judge. And I'll thank you to sit quietly before I cite you for contempt."
Rosie: "That was mean, your Honor. You shouldn't use your millionaire position to make fun of peoples' hair. Is this what America's courtrooms are coming to?"
Donald & Judge: "Shut it, slob."

Ooooh. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.