Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Note on Blagojevich

Just in case they ever release all of the taped conversations, I will go ahead and fess up now.

I am (or was) "Candidate Number 6,487." I know, it was surprising to me, too. I kept telling them I didn't have any money, or power, or government contacts, or corporate contacts. I even told them several times that I don't even live in Illinois. They just kept saying stuff like, "Commit now! This offer's going fast," and "Don't miss this rare opportunity to participate in history!"

I lost interest when they tried to introduce me to the nephew of a Nigerian Prince, who wanted me to give him bank account information.

UPDATE: Okay, so it's not really an update; I've just been thinking about how much the Illinois Governor's name sounds like that of a bad Bond villain.

"Ahhh, yes, Mr. Bond, I presume?"

"You know who I am, Blagojevich! As I recall, I stopped you from selling royal titles in London in 1994."

"That was, shall we say, unfortunate, Mr. Bond. Now be still while I detail my plan for world domination through influence-peddling before I allow you to escape and defeat me..."

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Thoughts on the "Big 3" Bailout

We all know it's coming, right? Despite the "weelllllll, maybe," protestations of some members of Congress, we all know that the Democrats never saw a Union member pleading without shedding tears of cash. By the same token, Republicans start salivating gold bullion anytime a corporate CEO shows up with hand outstretched.

So it's going to happen. The only question is: How much?

Last I saw, the breakdown looks like this:

Ford wants a bunch of cash;
GM wants a bunch of cash; and
Chrysler wants a bunch of cash.

Oh, I know the media's reporting that it's more specific than that ($9B, $18B, and $7B, respectively); but what it all boils down to is bailing out idiot businesses with borrowed money that my kids (and their kids, and their kids) will have to pay back. And my oldest daughter is 6. She doesn't even have a job yet, even though I believe she could do at least as well as, say, your average "Big 3" CEO.

So what do I think we should do, you ask? I suppose I could tell you I think we should bail them out in the interest of the economy, but I'd be lying. I think if the government wants to really help the U.S. economy, they'll line up our current crop of Congressional hand-wringers and calmly escort them to their new jobs as migrant farm workers in California.

I can't for the life of me figure out why the economically struggling citizens of this country should go deeper into debt to prop up failing businesses just so union workers and manager payscales can continue to be responsible for the high cost of low quality goods.

Let 'em tank, and let the chips fall where they may. If any of the "Big 3" rise from the ashes of their failure, good for them.

But I won't hold my breath.