My New Economic Stimulus Proposal

Democrats want "family planning" money...
Republicans want tax cuts...

Some folks want roads...
Some folks want schools...


I'll tell you what'll fix the economy. Aggle's Economic Stimulus Proposal is as follows:


Give me $800 billion dollars, and turn me loose. The catch is, every dime must be spent by the end of the year, without anything to show for it on January 1, 2010.




That's what they're going to do, so why shouldn't I get to have some fun?


I'm telling you right now. I'll Johnny-Appleseed my way all across the country in a tricked-out conversion van rigged up with a snow-blower specifically designed to spread C-notes in a 100-yard radius. I'll start a website taking suggestions for what to do with the money, and no suggestion will be too over-the-top (except for bridges that don't actually go anywhere, or teapot museums). Okay, so I won't take suggestions from Congresspersons or their staff... Or Joe the Plumber.




If I succeed, I get to not pay taxes for the rest of my life. If I don't succeed? Then we've wasted $800 billion...


But Congress is going to do that anyway, so where's the problem?