Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Note on Blagojevich

Just in case they ever release all of the taped conversations, I will go ahead and fess up now.

I am (or was) "Candidate Number 6,487." I know, it was surprising to me, too. I kept telling them I didn't have any money, or power, or government contacts, or corporate contacts. I even told them several times that I don't even live in Illinois. They just kept saying stuff like, "Commit now! This offer's going fast," and "Don't miss this rare opportunity to participate in history!"

I lost interest when they tried to introduce me to the nephew of a Nigerian Prince, who wanted me to give him bank account information.

UPDATE: Okay, so it's not really an update; I've just been thinking about how much the Illinois Governor's name sounds like that of a bad Bond villain.

"Ahhh, yes, Mr. Bond, I presume?"

"You know who I am, Blagojevich! As I recall, I stopped you from selling royal titles in London in 1994."

"That was, shall we say, unfortunate, Mr. Bond. Now be still while I detail my plan for world domination through influence-peddling before I allow you to escape and defeat me..."

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