Thursday, June 28, 2007

Fred Thompson, Take Me to the Prom

Wow, man. I gotta tell you I'm impressed with your polling lately.

I'm seeing you pretty consistently beating Rudy "9/11" Giuiiuiliaiani. If we could just get the two of you in a cage-match, I'm pretty sure you could finish him off.

So, announce, already. I'd love to see you mopping the floor in a debate with the current cast of muppets. And by "mopping the floor," I mean winning. And by "muppets," I mean no offense to Kermit.

Seriously, how much longer are you going to wait? 'Cause the American people, collectively, are like that hot girl you're just dying to ask to the prom. If you wait too long, she's gonna end up going to the prom with somebody superficial, like the Romneybot. Or somebody who'll whisper exactly what they want to hear, like the Rudster (9/11). Or somebody older and more sophisticated, like Grandpa's favorite, McCain. It's because they're asking, already.

See, she knows you want to take her. But she's too shy to ask you, so you've got to take the first step. Here's what you do:

  1. Stop sending your friends to tell her you like her, do it yourself.
  2. Write a pretty poem or something, it'll make you seem more sensitive.
  3. Whatever you do, don't ask her if you can bring along your buddy Newt (she might go with you, and leave with him).
  4. Be nice, but not too nice.
  5. Be confident, but not too confident. And, finally...
  6. Pay for dinner.

And ask one of her friends (Me) to be your Attorney General.


Carrie said...

Freddie was a Nixon lackey and he lobbied for abortion rights. Still crushin?

But on the other hand, he does have a hot trophy wife.

Aggle said...

I can think of worse Presidents to be a "lackey" to. And, I don't know what kind of lackey you get credit for being when the President whose boots you're licking ends up having to resign, partly because of you doing your job.

As far as the abortion rights thing,... he was a lobbyist. It's like a legislative lawyer. I've taken cases from unsavory clients, too.

Get off Fred's back and worry about the Democrats' sinking Congressional ship. It's much more important to your party that they keep control of the Congress in 2008, since they've proven already they don't give a hoo-haa about any of the things they said they were going to fix.

Carrie said...

When the only president worse than Nixon is the one currently in office, that's bad. And I personally think it's debatable which one was worse.

I think the Dems have little to worry about in keeping control of the House. The Senate is a toss-up though.

In better news...Obama is rockin' the money train. And Old Man McCain is going down in flames.

Aggle said...

C'mon, the only really bad thing anybody has to say about Nixon is Watergate anymore. He's not widely viewed as a horrible President, just a horrible person.

Obama? I thought you were a Hillary supporter? Or is this going to be another "anybody but Bush" election? 'Cause if it is, I'll let you in on a little secret.

He's not running again.

Carrie said...

I don't like Hilary. I'm a huge Obama fan. We even gave him some money--first time that I have ever donated to a prez campaign, or any campaign, I think.

Aggle said...

I didn't know Jack Kennedy, but I'm pretty sure Obama is no Jack Kennedy ;-)

I just don't understand the Obamania that's going on on the left. Is it because he's handsome? Is it because he's smart? Is it because he's the lefty-mod's version of McCain's "Straight-Talk Express?"

I think he's tried to learn a little too hard from Dean's screaming incident. He just seems so lackadaisical. I know, he gets a bit fired up in a speech sometimes, but he just seems to me a little "ho-hum." Like he doesn't really want to be the President as much as he wants to be the first black one.

Well, half anyway. Just wait, if he's elected, the faaaar left will be saying the only reason he was elected is because he's at least half white. ;-)