Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Open Letter to Motley Crue

Dear Motley Crue,

I recently read of the detestable behavior exhibited by NBC regarding the utterance of an expletive by your front-man Vince Neil.

I must say that I am appalled.

OK, well, not really.

I've got some questions for you, though.

1. How do you expect the sales of your new (and undoubtedly mediocre) album to go now?
2. How did you expect the sales to go before you pulled off this unbelievably juvenile publicity stunt?
3. Don't you think another Tommy Lee "video" would have been a more profitable way to go?
4. Where did you find your lawyer?
5. Seriously, he came to you, right?
6. No, really, he is a lawyer, isn't he?
7. I'm sorry. Back to the topic. Any other lawsuits in mind? I mean, you've been grievously wronged before, right? Like by whomever's been doing your hair?
8. Or by your tailors?
9. Your schoolteachers?
10. Your parents? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins?

To Mr. Sixx (I feel silly even typing that), I would direct a specific question. When you said you were being "discriminated" against, did you mean because you are a washed-up 80's-era scream-band, and the networks don't have any respect for you anymore? Or are you a member of some other minority group of which we're not aware?

Did you ever stop and think that maybe it's because NBC believes that Mr. Neil (giggle) simply can't keep it clean?

How about this. Why don't you own up to your actions, and take the consequences? That'd be a wonderful idea, wouldn't it? Seriously, I wouldn't suggest that such an illustrious hairband as yourselves has any dignity left to salvage, but c'mon, guys, take one for the team.

Or don't. I don't really care, I just wanted to rant.

In closing, I'll say this. Vince, good luck with the wine. Not so much with the whine.

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