Sunday, April 24, 2005

Home Improvement Idiocy

My wife's a big fan of those newdesign shows on TLC, HGTV, etc., and I must admit that I've grown a little addicted to them myself. Okay, so most of the time I'm watching to see people's reactions when some overzealous pseudo-designer turns their beloved family room into a 1960's love-den; but sometimes it's great fun!

Pseudo-designer: "Do you like what I've done with your space?"
Homeowner: "AAAAAAarrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh!!!"
Pseudo-designer: "I just knew you'd love it. Look, America, they're speechless!"

That brings me to my main point, though.

What's with all of the rooms in a house being referred to as "spaces" now? It's no longer a "living room," but a "living space." A bedroom is apparently a "sleeping space." A kitchen is, depending upon the layout, a "cooking" and/or "eating space." We won't go into what a bathroom is, but I've gotta tell you this is my biggest current TV pet-peeve. Really. I'm not kidding.

They're ROOMS, already. They started out as rooms, and no matter what you do to them, they'll still be rooms. Not "spaces." Never "spaces."

If I ever hire a designer to re-design a room in my home, and he/she comes in and says, "So, what are you looking for in this space?" So help me, I'm gonna punch them in the face. And have my oldest daughter kick them in the shins.

And throw them out on the street.

And film the whole thing.

As notice to the world.

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