Testing, Testing

Is this thing on?

I'm just thinking about dusting off the old blogger-chops, and maybe getting this thing going again. 

I've been (happily) off of Facebook for almost 3 years now, and I don't miss it.  Not in the least little bit.  It's a cesspool.  Its purpose is nothing more than to sell its members to advertisers.  The minimal benefit it provides is far outweighed by 1) the intrusion into your life on a minute-by-minute basis, and 2) having to "listen" to all of your 1,543 closest friends screeching about politics/society/religion/etc/etc.

What I do miss, quite a bit, is my platform for "legal rants and irrelevant musings."

At last count, the "dedicated readers list" of my blog consisted entirely of, well, me.  Still, it feels pretty good to have a spot to post the randoms every now and again.


Could be fun.

Who's with me?

Liberal Crowd at LA Fundraiser Thinks Obama is "The Anti-Christ"

Link

I figured if an entire crowd booed a gay soldier,...

And if an entire crowd cheered alllowing a terminally ill man to die...

Well, then?

Shuttle Snub

I'm so mad I can't even stand it. Johnson Space Center has seen astronauts safely through hundreds of missions over more than 500 million miles (and that's just the shuttles).

Still, after all the love, support, time, tears, prayers, and everything else this Great State of Texas has given to NASA over the years, we will not be the home to any of the retired orbiters.

I am saddened and angered beyond belief.

People from so-called "flyover country" are snubbed once again.

Kennedy Space Center in Florida will get Atlantis

The California Science Center in LA will get Endeavour

The Intrepid Museum in NYC will get Enterprise (currently at the Smithsonian)

The Smithsonian will get Discovery

Florida deserves the honor of hosting a retired Shuttle. The Smithsonian is a logical choice, as well, but there's already one there.

I also see the need for having one on the West Coast.

But the Intrepid Museum and the Smithsonian are less than 250 miles away from each other.

There is no reasonable explanation for this garbage.

He Can Still Make 'Em Swoon

Three Dozen Fall Ill at Obama Rally in Md.

A Doctrine Is Born

I have a new policy in my home. See, I have developed a "uniform rule of feeding my kids," you know, according to the Constitution of Aggle's House? Under that "uniform rule," my wife and I have "completely occupied the field" of feeding our children. Under that rule, we have agreed to provide them with 3 squares a day, plus the occasional snacks. Nobody else can make a law that provides for the feeding of my kids, not even other occupants of my house. My kids have no say in the matter.

This sucks for them, because if we decide not to feed them at all, they are officially preempted from feeding themselves. I and my wife are the only ones who can do it.

If they decide to try and feed themselves, I'll go to the Aggle's House District Court Judge for the Kitchen District, and have him (me)* issue an injunction forcing them to not feed themselves.

What are they gonna do, argue that the Constitution's unconstitutional?

Mwooohooohoohaahaahaaaaaaaa.

I call it the "I'm gonna take my toys and go home, so no one can play with them" Doctrine.

*My wife couldn't be the District Court Judge, because the Supreme Court (also me) ruled officially that she didn't have a bar card and is thus precluded from serving in any judicial capacity.

Lindsay Lohan's Passport Exclusive

Lohan missed court in Los Angeles and a warrant was issued for her arrest. Her attorney said she was "stuck in Paris," (oh, the humanity!) because her passport got stolen.

I know. A likely story, right?

But folks, it's true. I know because I have just purchased Lindsay Lohan's passport from an average, everyday piece of Parisian gutter-trash.

And without further ado...

Here it is!

It's an old picture, but whaddaya gonna do?

Crash the Tea Party?

"Our goal is that whenever a Tea Partier says 'Barack Obama was not born in America,' we're going be right there next to them saying, 'Yeah, in fact he wasn't born on Earth! He's an alien!'"

Cool. Can I get royalties from Mr. Levin?

Health Care Bill -- Consequences

For those of you who live under rocks (don't worry, I'm sure the government will get to housing soon), the Democrats' health care bill passed last night.

Depending on where you're getting your news, the bill will (list exhausting, but by no means exhaustive):

1.) Either drive the country deeper into debt, or save the government tons of money;
2.) Create tons of jobs, or, well, cost tons of jobs;
3.) Help you buy insurance, give you insurance, or force you to buy more insurance even though you can barely afford the insurance you now have;
4.) Drive prices down through increased competition, or cause prices to go up through increased risk;
5.) Shore up Medicare, or gut Medicare;
6.) Allow you to control your own medical future, or give the government control over your medical future; and
7.) Kumbayah moonbeams and puppies, or grumble-grumble-grumble death of capitalism.

I'm already seeing those on the conservative side of the above arguments being called "irrational" (but hey, it's better than being called racist), even though nobody really knows whether this bill will produce the desired results. Some believe it will, some believe it won't.

Which brings me to my assignment. I want every American with a blog (and that's a lot of blogs) to post every time something health-care-bill-related happens to them, or which they personally witness happening to someone else. No "friend-of-a-friend told me," or "I heard that so-and-so." I want personally witnessed, brutally honest straight-from-the-horse's-mouth stuff, here.

This blog isn't really a high-traffic clearinghouse, but if my loyal readers (Hi, honey!) each tell 5 others, who each tell 5 others, etc., etc., before too long we'll have an Amway-style pyramid scheme of accountability going on.


I'd love it if I were somehow informed (by link or comment) of all the posts generated by everyone, but I'm afraid the increased traffic would cause my brains to leak out of my ears.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be covered for that.

Alito vs. Obama

Our Supreme Court Justices are generally supposed to be staid and unflappable. Occasionally, though, we get something fun like Scalia allegedly using an obscene hand gesture to a reporter, or Sotomayor grinding on the dance floor at a post-swearing-in-bacchanalia.

But, usually, they keep pretty low-key. That's why it's confusing to me that bunches of folks in the press (and a whole host of lefty bloggers) are making it seem as if Alito jumped out of his chair foaming at the mouth, and went for the President's throat right then and there. Like he went from Doctor Jekyll to Mr. Hyde and tore Schumer's head off (because he was handy) before picking up Sotomayor and flinging her broken body into the upper reaches of the gallery. He didn't "wince." He didn't frown. He shook his head, and quietly took Obama to school.

To those of you in the media (or blogs) who are even calling it a "breach of decorum," well, if the camera had stayed where Obama wanted it to stay (squarely on him, the handsome devil) nobody ever would have known about it. Except maybe Cheshire Cat Pelosi (is it just me, or did she look, well, wierd?).

Since Justice Alito is constrained from saying what he probably wants to say in response to Obama's little, though, I thought I'd take a shot...

"How did this guy ever get a job teaching ConLaw at U. of Chicago?"

Just This

Adam James is a wuss. Mike Leach never should have given him a shot at big-time college ball.

But, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Adam, you obviously didn't inherit your father's football talent, but you sure did inherit his questionable ethics.


Here's hoping your selfishness and prima-donna attitude eventually catch up with you.


Oh, and ESPN? You suck, too.

Feinstein's New Bill (Hopefully)

I heard her today saying -- about the amendment prohibiting the use of federal funds for abortions -- that it's simply an effort to restrict women's rights.


And therefore, I propose that she immediately introduce the following Bill, for which I've only done a title and intro. I'll leave the legi-language to others (besides, I don't have time to make it 2,000 pages long):

S.__________

IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES

December 8, 2009

A Bill to require the government of the United States of America to reimburse its citizens, in whole or in part, for the exercise of any of their enumerated Constitutional Rights.

Short Title: The Government Isn't Footing The Bill Suitably Act

Of course, we'd call it The GIFT B.S. Act.

But I can't wait for the government to pay everyone's intertubes bill (or at least part of it) so they're no longer restricting our freedom of speech. I also drive about 16 miles to Church on Sundays, so the government should pay me a bit of gas money for that. Oh, and don't forget the guns. They can get me a couple at a reduced rate, otherwise they're simply attempting to restrict my right to keep and bear arms.

I like it.

C'mon, Senator. Put our money where your mouth is. It's never bothered you before.

Obama Bow-Fest, 2009

I wonder if he'd bow to me?


For heaven's sake, dude. Nobody would have you act high-and-mighty as President of the United States.

But how about you try to show some respect for your own office?!

By The People

I was thinking about watching the Obama campaign documentary on TV tonight.

I got a little confused about the time and channel it was supposed to be on...


I ended up watching "V," and I couldn't help but think how they amount to the same thing.


;-)

Seriously. It was a great show that I remembered from my childhood.

Now, though, I'm thinking maybe my prior post wasn't too far off the mark.

Nooooooooooo! Verizon! Don't do this to me!

I just read a Futurelawyer post that's like a dagger right into my heart.

The buzz is that Verizon may not offer the Palm Pre in January.

Please, Lowell McAdam. You've got the absolute best wireless company in the country. Don't hamstring your loyal customers by refusing to offer the best smartphones.


Oh, and Palm? Wanna grease the wheels? Stick an expansion card slot in that bad boy.

FutureLawyer on Pixi

I (kind of) agree with the FutureLawyer on the Palm Pixi.

Great phone, great features. Crazy desirable, no matter what they call it.


Still, I'm troubled by Palm's apparently newfound inability to include an expansion slot. Everyone has expansion slots in their phones now, and I credit Palm primarily for forcing that change.

So why abandon it when card slots are getting smaller and cheaper all the time?

It just doesn't make sense.

Mac vs. PC -- Am I a Fluke?

I'll start by saying I've never owned a Mac. I've played around a bit with friends' Macs, and it seems like they do pretty much the same stuff as my PCs.

I've owned a grand total of 3 PCs over the past 12 years. The first was a pieces-parts comp-in-a-box that I got for a whopping $300; the second, an Emachines that I bought shortly before law school (again, about $300); and the third, a loaded Dell desktop that I bought for $450 off of Dell's outlet website (this one I still have).

And I've never had a serious problem with any of them. Free firewalls and free anti-virus/anti-spyware programs are wonderful things, I guess, because I've never experienced an attack on my computer. Not one of those computers was replaced because of crashes, viruses, or "headaches." Simple obsolescence did the trick.

Also, an occasional warning or error message when I install a new peripheral or piece of software hardly (to my mind, at least) doesn't rise to the level of the "thousands of viruses and tons of headaches" that the Mac people keep telling me about.

So my question(s): Am I a fluke? Should I be scared of continuing on my PC-paved road to oblivion? Should I take out a second mortgage on my house and buy a Mac?

Please let me know.

Cash for Clunkers

I just found out I can trade in a 1993 Toyota Camry, and the government will give me $4,500 towards the purchase of a fuel-efficient vehicle, like a...

2009 Ford F-250 Super Duty with a 5.4 liter V8 engine.



No, really.

Trans Texas Corridor

It ain't dead, folks!

Call your State Legislators today and tell them we're not interested in taking private land and handing it over to foreign corporations so they can charge us to drive on our own Texas roads!

House
Senate


Urgent action is needed! No CDAs!

Palm Pre

I'm a gadget lover, as well as an irrational hater of all things Apple. When the iPhone came out, and folks were trampling each other to get one, I wasn't impressed. I've seen and played around with the iPhone in its various incarnations since it was born, and I'm still not impressed.

I've been a loyal user of Palm products since I started law school, and have owned several different Palm devices. It's why I've been so excited for the new Pre to be released.

Well, it's out now, and let me say first that I agree wholeheartedly with Futurelawyer when he says (to paraphrase) that it'll be a cold day in Hell before I switch to Sprint, even if the phone will do my laundry and go to the fridge to get me a Dr. Pepper. I'll wait for the Pre to be offered by the soon-to-be-fully-integrated Verizon/Alltel.

I just checked out the CNET review of the Pre, and I like what I see. I don't have a problem with the keyboard (I've been using a Treo 650 for about 1.5 years now), but I do wonder why there's no expansion slot.

For years, Palm's phones and other devices have been built with a memory card slot. I didn't realize the Pre wouldn't have such a slot, and its absence makes me a little disappointed.

So, I'm addressing this post directly to the folks at Palm...

Please, do that last little thing. Go that last extra mile to make the Pre truly the best smartphone ever built. Give us our expansion card slot.

You can even wait six months to release the new expansion-ready Pre, too. Because it's unlikely that anyone who'd keep their cell service with Sprint would be able to figure out what it was for anyway.

Congratulations, Kris

Didn't watch the American Idol finale, but I'm glad the better voice won.

I kinda feel bad talking trash about Guyliner, and since I heard Adam Lambert Googles his own name and reads everything, let me say that I also wish him the best. He'll obviously be a success as a performer.

Aggle for Supreme Court #3

You know, I'm a bit surprised that my name isn't on the short list.

I have "the heart, the empathy, to recognize what it's like to be a young teenage mom." I also happen to have "the empathy to understand what it's like to be poor, or African-American, or gay, or disabled, or old." (link)

What's even better is that I'm not an ivory tower type who only pretends to have those qualities.

I hope I get a call from the White House soon, because the only other job I can think of that emphasizes those particular qualities is acting as a stand-in for Dr. Phil.

Aggle for Supreme Court #2

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery,
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look.
Some say it's just a part of it,
We've got to fulfill the book.

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs,
Redemption songs,

Redemption songs.



For obvious reasons, I rejected "I'm too sexy."

Aggle for Supreme Court

In my new series of musical promotions of my candidacy for the Supreme Court to replace Justice Souter, I will expand on my musical bio begun in the last such post.


The place where I come from is a small town
They think so small, they use small words
But not me
I'm smarter than that, I've worked it out
I'll be stretching my mouth
To let those big words come right out

...

My parties have all the big names
And I greet them with the widest smile
Tell them how my life is one big adventure
And always they're amazed
When I show them round my house to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
With a snow-white pillow for my big fat head
And my Heaven will be a big Heaven
And I will walk through the front door.

Big time
I'm on my way, I'm making it
Big time
I've got to make it show, yeah
Big time
So much larger than life
Big time
I'm going to watch it growing

Big time.






Indeed. I'm a much neater person than I originally thought.

Throwing My Hat In

So Justice Souter is going to retire from the Supreme Court. (WaPo)


I, Aggle, hereby submit my name for consideration as a replacement for the distinguished Justice.

A bit of background:

I'm an attorney who knows the law, and actually cares about it.

I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Probably die in a small town
Oh, those small communities

All my friends are so small town
My parents live in the same small town
My job is so small town
Provides little opportunity

Educated in a small town
Taught the fear of Jesus in a small town
Used to daydream in that small town
Another boring romantic, that's me

No, I cannot forget where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be

Got nothing against a big town
Still hayseed enough to say
Look who's in the big town
But my bed is in a small town.


Gee, I hope Obama likes Mellencamp. I'm not behind on my taxes, but I could try doing something to trigger a federal investigation before my nomination hearings.

Guyliner Update 4-21-09

Ummmm, nope. Adam Lambert still sucks. AI judges (and AI voters, presumably) still smoking crack.

1. Y'know, Simon used to have a problem with people screaming songs. What happened with that?

2. Randy used to have a problem with people who were "pitchy." Where'd the ability to hear pitchy-ness go, Dog?

3. Paula... well, someone needs to tell Paula that Guyliner's not likely to sleep with her anytime soon.

4. New judge whose name I can never remember? I don't remember what you said about Guyliner, either; so if it was good, you're an idiot. If it was bad, bravo for being the only judge with sense.



Please, people, prove to the world that America can vote for someone who can really sing (Alison, Danny, Kris) over someone who's only "pretty."




Please.